Sunday, January 7, 2024

PIE # 1 - VANILLA CUSTARD

Custard or Pastry Cream. Will the real pie filling please stand up?

The confusion surrounding these two terms is as muddled as curdled pie filling. In my search for clarification on the difference between custard and pastry cream, I ended up more befuddled than when I began.

One source stated pastry cream is actually a custard with a creamier texture and is used for filling eclairs and cream puffs. Pastry cream is thickened with flour. Custard, on the other hand, is typically thickened with cornstarch.

Yet in Ken Haedrich’s “Pie” cookbook, he calls his cornstarch thickened filling a pastry cream.

I’ve decided to use the word CUSTARD because it rhymes with FLUSTERED which I’m becoming and also rhymes with MUSTARD which has nothing to do with pies other than it's yellow which is the color of custard.

With the PTSD I still have from my vanilla CREAM pie curdling debacle of 1974, naming this a CUSTARD pie feels like I'm starting with a clean, curd-free slate. 

Speaking of curdling, there’s a gross explanation as to why some creams and custards won’t set properly. According to Ken Haedrich, using the stir spoon to sneak a taste test and then returning the spoon to the mixture can spell disaster. Saliva contains an enzyme that breaks down starches which can impart a watery texture to your custard. EWWW! Definitely a very inhoSPITable environment for creating the perfect pie filling! 

I think I’ve BLUSTERED enough about CUSTARD. I present to you PIE #1: VANILLA CUSTARD PIE

The graham cracker crust contains cinnamon and vanilla extract which adds flavor depth. Splurge and use pure Irish butter for both the crust and the filling. Trust me, it’ll boost the texture of the custard as will farm fresh eggs whose firm, vibrantly colored yolks will lend a richer color to the filling.

Remember, as you’re stirring the filling, be legit and don’t emit the spit lest your custard be unfit!

The crust recipe will fill a 9.5" deep dish pan. 

GRAHAM CRACKER CRUST

18 graham crackers
1 ½ tablespoons sugar
¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons melted butter
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
1-3 teaspoons milk, if needed

Place crackers in Ziploc bag and crush them to the consistency of fine bread crumbs using a mallet or rolling pin. Transfer to a large bowl and combine with sugar, cinnamon and salt. Add melted butter and vanilla extract. Stir to incorporate. Using your hands, clench a handful of crumbs to see if it holds together firmly without crumbling. If necessary, add 1 teaspoon of milk at a time to reach that firmness.

Place crumbs in pie pan and press until evenly distributed on bottom and up sides. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and chill pie crust in refrigerator for 15 minutes.

Bake pie crust in preheated oven for 8 minutes. Remove and place on cooling rack.

In the meantime, prepare custard filling. Be literally stir-crazy when cooking the custard lest it seize up and curdle. Start out with a medium heat setting then slowly reduce the heat level as the custard begins to thicken. I used both a whisk AND a wooden spoon simultaneously. Ain’t nobody got time for curdled custard!

VANILLA CUSTARD

2 cups sugar
½ cup cornstarch
Scant ¼ teaspoon salt
2 1/2 cups 1% milk
2 cups half and half
8 large egg yolks
4 tablespoons butter, cut into ½” cubes
3 teaspoons vanilla extract
Whipped cream (optional)

Combine sugar, cornstarch and salt in a large, heavy saucepan (avoid Teflon and other non-stick pans). Whisk together milk, half and half and egg yolks and add to pan ingredients. Whisk to incorporate. Place over medium heat and whisk nonstop until the mixture begins to thicken. This should take about 5-8 minutes. Once it comes to a low boil, continue whisking until mixture is quite thick, maybe an additional 1-2 minutes. Turn off heat and whisk in butter and vanilla until incorporated.

Pour filling into cooled pie crust. Cool on counter until the pie reaches room temperature, about 1-2 hours. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate several hours or overnight. Garnish with whipped cream, if desired. Enjoy!






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